Post-Divorce Estate Plan Update Checklist

Updating your estate plan is the single most-forgotten task after a divorce — and one of the highest-stakes. Once the decree is signed, the emotional and logistical work of separating two lives tends to crowd out the paperwork that determines who inherits your money, who makes medical decisions for you, and who raises your children if something happens to you. People assume the divorce itself takes care of all of this. It does not.

Here is the trap that catches the most people: a beneficiary designation overrides your will. It does not matter what your will says, and in many cases it does not matter what your divorce decree says — the institution holding your 401(k), IRA, or life insurance policy pays the person named on the form. Many states have "revocation-upon-divorce" statutes that automatically remove an ex-spouse as a beneficiary or fiduciary in your will, but those statutes do not reach non-probate assets governed by federal law. The U.S. Supreme Court has confirmed that ERISA-governed plans (most employer 401(k)s, 403(b)s, pensions, and employer-provided life insurance) pay whoever is named on the plan document, regardless of a state statute or a divorce decree. If your ex is still listed, your ex still collects. The only fix is to actively change the form yourself. State revocation statutes also generally do not apply while the divorce is still pending — so don't assume anything has changed until the decree is final and you have updated each designation by hand.

This checklist walks through every document and designation to review, organized by type, with the federal-law nuances flagged where they matter most.

This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Estate-planning and beneficiary rules vary by state and by plan; some are governed by federal law (ERISA). Confirm any change against your divorce decree and consult a licensed estate attorney.

Beneficiary Designations (Do These First)

These pass outside your will and are the most urgent items on this list. Each one is controlled by the form on file with the institution, not by your decree. Contact each provider, request a change-of-beneficiary form, and submit it in writing — a phone call does not count.

• 401(k) / 403(b) and other employer plans. These are typically ERISA-governed, meaning federal law controls and the named beneficiary is paid regardless of your state's revocation statute or your decree. You must file a new beneficiary form yourself. Important timing nuance: while you are still married, federal law generally requires your spouse to be the primary beneficiary unless they sign a notarized spousal consent. Once the divorce is final and you are no longer married, you can freely name anyone — but the change only takes effect when the plan administrator processes your new form.
• IRAs (traditional and Roth). Held at a bank or brokerage, not your employer, so they are generally governed by state law and the custodian's contract. Still, do not rely on a state statute to clean these up — submit a new beneficiary designation to the custodian directly.
• Pensions and survivor benefits. Defined-benefit pensions often include a survivor annuity for a spouse. A QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) may have already assigned part of the pension or a survivor benefit to your ex as part of the settlement — confirm what the QDRO requires before changing anything, then update any survivor election you are free to change.
• Life insurance — employer-provided. Group life through your job is usually ERISA-governed, so the same rule applies: the named beneficiary collects, period. Change the form with your benefits department.
• Life insurance — private/individual policies. Update the beneficiary with the insurer directly. (See the decree note below — you may be required to keep your children, or even your ex, as beneficiary to secure support.)
• Health Savings Account (HSA). An HSA has its own beneficiary designation. If your ex remains named, they inherit the account — update it.
• Annuities. Annuity contracts name a beneficiary independent of your will. Request a change form from the issuer.
• Bank and brokerage accounts (POD/TOD). Payable-on-death (bank) and transfer-on-death (brokerage) designations bypass probate entirely. Review every account and re-title or re-designate as needed.
• 529 college savings plans. Confirm the account owner and successor owner. A 529 owned by you with your ex as successor owner means your ex controls the funds if you die — coordinate this with your custody and support arrangements.

Your Will

Your will controls assets that pass through probate. Even where a state revocation statute automatically voids gifts and appointments to an ex-spouse, relying on the statute is risky — statutes vary, and an outdated will invites confusion and disputes. Have a new will drafted.

• Remove your ex as a beneficiary. Re-draft the dispositive provisions so your estate goes where you actually want it.
• Remove your ex as executor (personal representative). Name a trusted alternate to administer your estate.
• Update guardianship nominations for minor children. Your will is where you nominate who would raise your children if both parents are gone. (Note: the surviving parent typically retains custody by default; this nomination matters most if neither parent survives.)
• Consider a testamentary trust for your children. Rather than leaving assets to minors outright, a trust created in your will lets you control how and when they receive the money and who manages it.

Revocable Living Trust

If you have a revocable living trust, it needs the same scrub as your will — and trusts are often missed because people assume the divorce "handled" them.

• Remove your ex as successor trustee. Otherwise your ex could end up managing the trust after your death or incapacity.
• Remove your ex as a beneficiary and redirect the trust's distributions.
• Re-title and re-fund as needed. If accounts or property were re-titled during the divorce, confirm the assets you intend to hold in trust are actually titled in the trust's name. An unfunded trust controls nothing.

Powers of Attorney — Financial

A durable financial power of attorney lets the person you name handle your money and legal affairs if you become incapacitated. If you signed one during the marriage, your ex is almost certainly your agent.

• Revoke the existing durable financial POA in writing and notify your ex and any institution that has a copy on file.
• Execute a new durable financial POA naming someone you currently trust. Leaving your ex with authority over your bank accounts and property is one of the most dangerous oversights on this list — they could legally act on your behalf the moment you are incapacitated.

Healthcare Directives

Your medical documents decide who speaks for you when you cannot speak for yourself. Few people want their ex making end-of-life decisions for them, yet these documents are routinely left unchanged.

• Update your healthcare directive / medical power of attorney to name a new healthcare agent.
• Update your living will (your written treatment wishes) if it references your ex or needs revision.
• Update your HIPAA authorization so the right people — and not your ex — can access your medical information and speak with your providers.
• Distribute fresh copies to your new agent, your doctor, and your hospital, and destroy or revoke the old versions.

Planning for Your Children's Inheritance

This is where estate planning and your divorce decree intersect most. The goal is usually to provide for your children without handing money or control to your ex.

• Remember that minors cannot inherit directly. If you leave assets to a minor child with no structure in place, a court will appoint someone to manage the money — and that someone is frequently the surviving parent (your ex), because they are the child's natural guardian.
• Use a trust or a UTMA custodian. A trust (with a trustee you choose) or a Uniform Transfers to Minors Act custodianship lets you name who manages the money — which does not have to be the other parent.
• Choose the money-manager deliberately. Naming a trustee or custodian other than your ex is the entire point. Pick someone responsible who will act in your children's interest.
• Coordinate with decree-required life insurance. If your decree requires you to maintain life insurance for the children, make the policy proceeds flow into the trust or custodianship rather than to a minor (or your ex) directly, so the money is managed the way you intend.

Digital Assets

Modern estates include accounts and assets that have no paper form. Many platforms have their own beneficiary or legacy-contact tools that operate independently of your will.

• Set legacy contacts and beneficiaries on digital accounts (Apple Legacy Contact, Google Inactive Account Manager, password managers, etc.) and remove your ex where they were named.
• Inventory cryptocurrency, domains, loyalty points, and online businesses and make sure a trusted person can access them.
• Add digital-asset authority to your new power of attorney and will so your fiduciary can legally manage these accounts.

Special Note: What Your Decree May Require

Before you change anything, read your divorce decree and Marital Settlement Agreement carefully. A decree can impose obligations that override your instinct to remove your ex from everything.

• Decree-required life insurance. Many decrees require you to maintain a life insurance policy — often naming the children (or a trust for them) as beneficiary — to secure child support or alimony in case you die. Changing that beneficiary could put you in contempt of court.
• Sometimes the ex must remain named. In some arrangements you are required to keep your ex as a beneficiary (frequently as a vehicle to secure ongoing support payments). Confirm what the decree requires before you change any designation — and when in doubt, ask your attorney.

Do It Yourself, or Hire an Estate Attorney?

The beneficiary changes in the first section are simple, free, and urgent — file those forms yourself this week. The legal documents (will, trust, powers of attorney, children's trust) are where professional help pays off, especially if you have minor children, significant assets, a business, or decree obligations to coordinate. For a straightforward estate, a reputable DIY service may be enough; for anything involving minors or trusts, an estate attorney is well worth the cost.

On timing: handle beneficiary designations immediately (they are the biggest risk and the easiest fix), and aim to update your core documents within a few weeks while the divorce is fresh and your wishes are clear.

Related Resources

• Post-Divorce Checklist — the full list of post-decree tasks, with estate planning as one of the most important.
• Name Change Checklist — if you're restoring a former name, update your estate documents to match.
• QDRO Guide — how retirement and pension survivor benefits get divided, which directly affects your beneficiary updates.
• Retirement Accounts in Divorce — understanding 401(k), IRA, and pension division before you reset beneficiaries.
• Social Security and Divorce — survivor and spousal benefit rules that interact with your estate plan.
• Financial Planning After Divorce — where estate-plan updates fit into your first-year financial roadmap.
• Divorce With Children — guardianship and providing for your kids' future.
• Protecting Yourself Financially — closing the legal and financial gaps an ex could exploit.

Browse all of our divorce guides and checklists for more resources.

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